So, I Bought a New Piece of Exercise Equipment…

A pull-up bar, to be exact. the Perfect Multi-Gym Pro. Multigym because it can be used for pushups, dips, and sit-ups.

Because I really need to get back into shape. I was as low as 206 in 2020. I’m back up to the 220s on a daily basis. Why don’t I like it? My weight, my body, is a stinging reminder of my weak will, my physical laziness, and my inability to take a New Year’s resolution seriously for longer than a month. My body is telling me I need to get in shape.

My diet is bad, too. I went to Go Chicken Go yesterday, just to see if they still knew how to make chicken. Two pieces of chicken, deep-fried, not salty at all, skin seared to just the right amount of crispiness, regulation instant potatoes in the same tasty-brownish gray gravy you can get anywhere else, savory hot buttered biscuit you expect from a chicken joint. a large root beer that went down like a glass of cold water. It was perfect.

Today, I have barely eaten. A bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast. Two cups of coffee. No snacks. Then a banana and a Nutty Bar for lunch; I forgot the sardines and potato chips and pear I was supposed to bring. I will be starving by the time I get home. My diet is not stable. It is not constant. And it is not healthy, for the most part, certainly not as healthy as it used to be.

So, I bought a pull-up bar. I had one before, at my old apartment, but it wouldn’t fit properly in any doorway. It wouldn’t hold my weight. It didn’t make it to my new place. I failed to pack it, somehow.

I thought the bar was a great idea. Pull-ups are great for the upper body. And, honestly, I thought I could do at least pull-ups. I thought it would be easy.

I can’t do one. I am still shocked. I can’t pull myself up even once. ONCE. My upper body strength has dropped to “old man” levels.

I had a Bowflex Treadclimber, a treadmill. It cost me almost $2500. It took me two years to pay it off. I didn’t use it. It made noise. I was worried about disturbing the people who lived under me. I walk all day at work on purpose. I don’t need to walk when I get home. I don’t want to walk when I get home. I walk all day so I can live on the couch when I’m at home. I don’t want to exercise. When I sit down, that is usually it for the night.

I gave the Treadclimber up. I still have the Selecttech dumbbells. Over $300. They are going to get some use, helping me build my upper body strength so I can do a pull-up on this bar I just bought.

Forty-five dollars. That is a lot of money if I don’t use this bar. If I don’t get good at this bar. If I can’t do five pullups by this summer. If it doesn’t become part of my regular exercise routine. If I don’t have a regular exercise routine by the end of this year. Forty-five dollars for something that will lay around until my next move.

And probably get left behind.