Stress Eating (Wednesday, October 6, 2021)

That’s exactly what I’m doing. Sausage, egg, and cheese McGriddle. From McDonald’s, of course. Standard sausage, scrambled and neatly folded egg, and melted cheese cheddar or American between two mini pancakes, even and expertly sweetened with maple syrup. Hot and piping. Just this side of…It’s the best thing they have going there. It used to be the apple pie. The chicken McNuggets aren’t so bad either.

I’ve had all three the past week – the other two on Friday, just because it was Friday and i didn’t want to cook, and it had been a hard week, a long week, and I deserve a break, a treat – and I honestly shouldn’t be having fast food more than twice a month.

But, yes, this is stress eating today. The stress has been building since Monday, and even though I thought I was handling it well – not letting it keep me up all night, seething and wishing grievous ill on anybody – I am not doing it well enough to not be craving some salt and carbs and grease and fat and calories.

I had to get a letter in my landlord’s mailbox before going to work, and with the way the buses run and how late I was getting out of the house today for work, i was cutting it so close, that the thought of a McGriddle was on my mind as I was riding the bus to work, to print the letter out on the school’s Ricoh machines. I am going to get this in the landlord’s mailbox then stop at McDonald’s for a McGriddle and a hashbrown.

The water. Has been off in my apartment since Monday – but I want to write about that separately. But SINCE MONDAY. I still can’t believe it. I am slipping this letter – this notice – in the front office’s mailbox slot (the little slot in the door where you op you rent, if you show up to pay it after hours) before work to file a formal complaint about the maintenance and service around here before deciding what my next step is going to be, if something is not done about I by the time I get home.

I don’t own a printer anymore. I bought one of those HP jobs that works wirelessly and orders more overpriced ink cartridges for you when the current ones are low, after printing maybe four or five pages. And, I didn’t like that feature, so I disabled it. And this printer has not worked right since. I haven’t bought a new one, either, for some reason. The fact that I can print what I need at work, at no cost, is a leading factor. So, I print the letter to the apartment manager at work, a little after 7 AM, and rush to catch the next 25 bus going north.

I have to walk by McDonald’s on my way to the front office and that doesn’t strengthen the tiny voice inside me rationally nattering about how many calories and how much sodium is in a McDonald’ s meal, of any kind, and I just had fast food last week, and be strong, you have the power to resist this…

Surprise! When I order my meal, I ask the cashier if McDonald’s serves decaffeinated coffee. They do. They Do!?! Best news I have had in days, with the IRS breathing on me, an some online crook making unauthorized charges on my debit card. I’m looking for an apartment. I still haven’t started packing. I get a large decaf with cream and sugar, and tuck the McGriddle and hash brown in my backpack, to be enjoyed at work, comfortably seated.

I am definitely stress eating I think about fast food, about potato chips, and cheeseburgers, Kentucky fried chicken, with the usual fixings (mash potatoes and gravy), oatmeal raisin cookies, eat ice cream without any negative consequences and an oversized bowl of beans and rice…when I am stressed.

I don’t need to deal with my stress eating. I need to find a way to deal with my stress. Right?

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