Reaching For A New Leaf

And here I go again. As summer turns into fall, I feel a sense of hope and renewal, and a burning desire to look over my New Years’ resolutions and commit myself to them once again – having failed almost completely to complete or accomplish a single one of them.

I’ve given up on half of them and I don’t even remember what the other half were.

But, here I am. It’s a new day. There’s time aplenty to start over again and again and again, and achieve, etc…

I really should stop. But there are just some things I want to accomplish before I die, I think.

With that, I present…

Um, all the leaves I want to turn over this fall?

1. Finish this novel. Honestly! I never thought I would be looking at one novel for this long. What happened? What’s wrong with me? I was watching a YouTube video, about a screenwriter, and he said it took him four years to finish his first screenplay – and now it takes him about four months. I think this is who I am, who I am going to be, once I finish this never-ending beast. This is the hill I have to get over – or die on.
2. YouTube. Me and this YouTube channel. I don’t know why I am stuck on the idea of having a YouTube channel. I don’t have anything particularly interesting to say. I don’t do anything watchable. I don’t have star power. The camera doesn’t love me. I can’t even think of a theme, concept, or specific category for my channel. I just wanna be on YouTube, like all the creators I watch every. That’s why I want a YouTube channel – because I watch YouTube all day. I am inspired, but I don’t know what to do with the inspiration.
3. Declutter and move. I have a lot of fine scrap that I don’t need. If I don’t throw it away, I will have to pack it, and ring it to my new apartment with me – to my new space. And, something tells me the rent is going up, The new management has been making basic improvements to some of the apartments that I don’t live in . Hardwood floors. Over the counter microwave ovens. brand new central heating. My apartment will not receive any of these renovations until after I have moved out, but the substantial costs will be passed on to me this December, if my gut is right. The last rent hike was $225 a month. I want to be be packed and ready to move before the notices are sent out in October.
4. New job. I want to work from home. I want to work form home. Is that too much to ask? Every day I meet someone who works from home in their shorts and t-shirt, for more money than I make, and they make it seem as easy as eating fresh pie. You just apply for a work-from-home (WFH) position online, and then roll out of bed in your pajamas and you’re at work. The janitorial/warehouse career track does not flow naturally into WFH positions. I submit my resume, and I get offered warehouse jobs at Amazon and Federal Express. Am I whining? I have a job. I want a new one. From home. At a computer. So…
5. New furniture? New décor, new physical living arrangement = new energy. It also costs money I should be saving or spending on something else, but as far as effective change goes, it stays on my mind.

Above all, I feel the need to force some change on myself, changes that I want. I have been reacting to changes massive and small since the end of 2019. I need to make the changes I want to see in my life.

Next up? A plan of action…