Transform weight loss program (this is not paid advertisement). We are working on triggers this week, logging our eating habits so we can figure out what triggers our inactivity and bad eating habits- why and when we reach for junk food, fast food, caffeine, sugar, soda, etc.

Why? So we/I can stop doing it, straying from the healthy and narrow to become fat and sickly, pouring bags of chips and McDonald’s fries into our gaping mouths, guzzling gallons of sugary, carbonated calorie bombs…

So, I’m cataloging my triggers this week, so I can better understand myself.

  1. Missing the bus.
  2. Being late for work. Not everything that makes me angry, makes me want to eat to calm down or make myself feel better. Missing the bus and clocking in late makes me want to head straight for the vending machines.
  3. Not getting enough sleep. Two cups of coffee at breakfast aren’t enough when I’m only getting 3, 4 hours of sleep. I have to have a soda – two, occasionally – just to get my act together.
  4. Putting on weight. Really. It’s a weird two way street. on the one Hand, I am much more comfortable at the weight I am now, than when I was skinny and trying to stay that way. I feel like myself right now. I don’t need to be thin. I don’t need a summer beach body, and I would be fine with my weight, my size and shape, except for all the things I don’t like about it: my pants don’t fit; I can barely bend over, even when sitting, and not without grunting; the extra weight aggravates my blood pressure and puts me at risk for other health problems; it takes a while to catch my breath after walking up a couple flights of stairs (I don’t like how weak my lungs feel) I do get self-conscious every now and then, wonder how I look to other people. But, really, the health problems with putting on weight are what bothers me, the consequences I know are around the corner. If I hadn’t had two episodes with heart Failure, if I didn’t know what a brush with Death feels like…I would not be doing this program. My poor health prognosis (in general) has created waves of self-pity. I felt like I deserved something to make myself feel better, I deserved something nice after all this worry, and stress, and dealing with my own death.
  5. Dieting. I have behaved myself for a whole week. Cheat day!
  6. Rent. My greedy-ass landlord raised the rent $225 a month in 2019, and I have had to adjust to it and for it every day since. I was ready to give notice and move, and I would have done it, but I couldn’t find a cheaper apartment that was fit for a human being to live it. I would have had to give up my bedroom, and a lot of space. I would have had to move almost an hour from work – an hour on the bus. After I gave in and signed the two-year lease, I bought a bottle of Jack Daniel’s whisky and bottles of Coke. Two, sometimes three, a day for weeks until I got over it.
  7. Coming home from work. A dangerous time. I drop the backpack. I check the the lock on the front door. Then, I usually reach for a few cookies, or a soda, or a big bottle of apple or orange juice, or a donut. I like a snack when I get home. I feel deprived if I don’t have one, if I have to sit there, like good boy, and control my impulses, my urge to eat, until dinner.
  8. Bedtime. Going to bed, getting ready for bed triggers a snacking impulse in me. A fistful of fruit gummies. Cookies. Graham crackers smeared with peanut butter. Something. Anything. It is difficult for me to go to bed, if I don’t have a snack beforehand, preferably something sweet, though a handful of chips is satisfying
  9. Being run like a dog at work. Nothing makes me take a trip to the nearest soda machine like getting a bunch of call and texts at work. Deliver this. Pick up that. Check this. Tell this employee this or that. Five or six in a row and I am thinking about a bag of chips. A bag of chili cheese Fritos and a Dr. Pepper or a root beer. Lay’s potato chips and a Cherry Pepsi. I bring a bag of mint candies to work for that reason, so I can suck on one while I am running around the campus like a dog. One candy is a lot few calories than a soda.
  10. And, sitting down. When I come home, and I sit down, I am done for the day. Any exercise that hasn’t been done – hasn’t been done. I don’t want to do anything but eat, surf the net, and sleep. Laziness and Sloth are the main reasons for my inactivity. I don’t want to be active all day.

There are probably more. I am still watching myself and discovering new things, new patterns.

How about you? What is it? Store displays? Commercials?

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